~turning the page~

i have been such a miserable blogger of late~such moaning!

yesterday, probably because i had such a horrid previous night~spending an hour locked in the bath room being very sick indeed, which also meant i couldn't take my tablets as my tummy wouldn't even tolerate water, i had difficult day.

but as i perked up during the afternoon i started to read a whole ream of writing i downloaded from the druid network as well as another chapter from philip carr-gomm's 'the rebirth of druidry'.

as the day darkened i lit my lamp that sits in the corner of the room that is 'my' corner

*do you have your own part of a room? a spot where you sit and where your own things gather?*

in my corner at this time i have my phone, my moleskine, a bowl which holds my glasses case and a pen sitting alongside my lamp.
on the pine chest that sits in front of the floor to ceiling window are my green man oracle, a bill bryson book and on a footstool in front of this sits my two bags of crochet~my corner of our room

i also lit the three candles on my mantle/alter and drew the curtains against the darkening chill.

i continued to read and think.

the words i read and the thoughts and pondering that the words stirred in me has helped a page turn in my life.

i have realised there is no point in fighting the things that i cannot change~like my illness's~yes i can help them by taking my medication (as much as i hate too in this i have no option) but ultimately i have to live with them, day to day.
but i realised that i cannot let the negativity that they, and other things, bring out in me, to rule my life (thank you juilana for making me think of this!)

today i feel good~i am keeping all the symptoms of my illnesses firmly in the background of my mind~i cannot wipe them out with medication nor totally ignore them~but i wont let them get the better of me, wont let it all overwhelm me and distract me from better things.

~for i have so many good things in my life~
i have a soul partner who loves, supports me and accepts me as i am
i can afford to pay the bills each month
i have a roof over my head...and a garden
i live in a very special,ancient forest where branches of my ancestor tree grow back hundreds and hundreds of years

there is much more to add to this list, but you get the idea.

i feel more peaceful today, settled and even better, by fighting the negativity and embracing the positivity, i feel i have rediscovered the track i have been following through the woods


swampy did a little gardening yesterday and behind our miribilis jalapa 'marvel of peru' he found this...

a final cucumber, tucked away between the bush and our fence! to be honest because i have been so unwell i forgot i had planted it.

two days ago i managed a short walk with swampy and flynt and actually remembered my camera so was pleased i was able to show you these...

a bit of research later and i am 99.9% sure this is either a suillus grevellei/larch bolete or suillius granulatus. it was a grey, damp day and so these stood out like bright jewels among the brambles. other sparks of color came from the blackberries but wouldn't you know it the batteries in my camera needed changing!

yesterday we had to travel to the next village in order to keep my doctors appointment~more about that here~and when we left the hollow our village sits in we were slowly engulfed by a mist that left everything around us~the high moorland and the distant trees~in shades of green and grey and the grass was coated with a silver-grey sheen.

coming out of the village the mist had thickened and we could see even less than before and it felt like a perfect autumn day~even the ponies now are merging in with the surroundings, among the copper and orange of the bracken some are almost invisible.

today the rain has come in and looking out of the window things seem a little less magical and i am trying to decide whether to go for a walk with swampy and flynt~i was unwell last night to the extent i couldn't take my amitriptyline and so everything feels painful and sore today.

well i did go for a walk but it was so painful and i was so slow it wasn't an enjoyable walk

~all change~

well the changes to the land around me has prompted this 'autumn clean' of my blog~time for new back ground and colors to herald this time of contemplation and withdraw.

the last few months has once again seen my path come to a standstill and my thoughts turn away from the things i believe to more mundane, the ordinary.

maybe it was a natural standstill for my body in preparation for the inner contemplations to come over the coming months~the north wind that is covering the land is turning my mind inwards~focusing beyond the aches and pains my body brings me to reside in the 'other' me...

over the last few days there has been a shift within me~a feeling of settling down and the need to 'do'~my green man oracle has been calling me for days now although i have had a longing to go further along this path...

i am having a strong urge to change things within the home~to warm things up with strong autumn colors~to turn our home into a place of warmth and meditation.
at this moment it feels like a 'non' place~i imagine if i took out my dowsing rods today there would be confusion...

*its time to settle and focus and dream again*

~days & things~

it's been a fairly quiet few days since my last post and the autumn equinox~alban elfed~belated blessings to you all~has passed~where has the year gone to i keep asking myself?

however the equinox was just perfect here in this ancient forest~i managed to go out for a morning walk with swampy (who is not the original swampy!) and little flynt at bolton's bench in the neighbouring village of lyndhurst~i, of course was disorganised and didn't have either my mobile or my camera~swampy however had his mobile and i shall post them when he gets round to sending them to my e-mail.

but take my word for it, it was the most perfect autumn morning~a fine mist hung over everything and the dew on the ground highlighted the spiders webs in the bushes and grass. the leaves are slowly changing color and over the heathland the bracken is turning the most glorious orange/red and the purple heather jumps out at you.
the pannage season started a week early this year~a sure sign of autumn and every day i feel so lucky to be living here.


my crochet projects continue and the addiction grows, although some days my hands and wrists are too painful to hold my hook and work the yarn.
i bought this gorgeous 'shadow tweed' to make myself an appropriately colored scarf for the cold days ahead~they also had some that looks exactly like the bracken and so i plan to go back and buy some next week.

...actually these photos do not do the color any justice at all~in reality it reminds me of blackberries and purple heather.

this is a close up of the circlet i made for the handfasting~ivy with tiny tea roses and small pine cones~as my outfit was quite autumnal with greens, orange and browns i wanted something to reflect it. it now hangs from our mantle waiting the next festivity.

a few weeks ago i was sitting in our living room and i could hear a strange sound~at first i thought our neighbour was doing some noisy gardening but when i peeked out i saw one of the forest ponies enjoying the grass in our front garden. she had left her foal in the neighbouring road, managed to get through the kissing gate that someone had thoughtlessly left open and made her way down the road. luckily the other neighbouring road is closed from the main road by a cattle grid so she would not have been able to get onto the area of the village where it is too dangerous for the animals to roam. just as i took the photo the agister appeared and proceeded to herd her back up, through the gate to be reunited with her foal.


today we will shortly be off to have 'pretty pagan' put through her MOT re-test. she failed miserably last week and so funds have been spent on repairs~but luckily we had to replace things that all being well will not need replacing for another ten years or more of happy camping. it will take about an hour so of course my crochet shall be with me, although typing this has made my hands and wrist hurt so i am not so sure i will be able to get anything done...

~dont hang on any more!~

hello my lovlies!

well there are a few reasons why i have not blogged lately.

we went off to our annual VW event in the Malverns two weeks ago~we have a role in the build up of the show, and although we both struggled, and i spent more time resting in 'pretty pagan' than anything else i was so glad we went for it was the chance to meet up with old friends, some i had not seen for two years.

we had some heavy showers

some friends 'testing' the live music stage

live music outside for the first time

disaster wagons

our friend from Holland preparing for his journey back home

following two campers heading back to Germany

Luckily in trading 'character' for practicalities in buying a more modern,larger vehicle when i was resting i had lots of room~so i didnt feel cooped up.
i took my copy of 'One Hundred Years of Solitude' for its umpteenth reading, my assorted crochet projects and my laptop, so i was able to sit and watch a film or documentary if i wanted to.

we were home all of last week but even the little i did exhausted me and so i had no inclination to turn on my lap-top~in fact i cannot even remember much of last week.


at the weekend we attended the handfasting of two friends at a beautiful grove~

swampy wore a 1940's kilt

ushered into the grove by the wonderful sound of a hammered dulcimer

sorcha, crystal, kit, yours truly and sea-witch

the happiest of couples~sue and chris

a wonderful roof sletered our feasting

we had stories

and drumming

and more music...with chris on guitar

i rested up well the day before so i was able to enjoy their special day, but by 9pm i was more than ready to get home to my bed and hot water bottle.

this week will be a quiet week for me, i am still coming to terms with the fact i have a new, painful condition to deal with and as much as i dislike it, the tablets i am taking are helping a little, although i am not sure of the long term use.

~i shall try to visit you all over the coming days~

~hold onto your hats!~

i am still here folks honest!
thank you all for your kind comments to my last post
we managed to get away for a week and i have spent a few days getting over that so i shall be blogging very soon...