~turning the page~

i have been such a miserable blogger of late~such moaning!

yesterday, probably because i had such a horrid previous night~spending an hour locked in the bath room being very sick indeed, which also meant i couldn't take my tablets as my tummy wouldn't even tolerate water, i had difficult day.

but as i perked up during the afternoon i started to read a whole ream of writing i downloaded from the druid network as well as another chapter from philip carr-gomm's 'the rebirth of druidry'.

as the day darkened i lit my lamp that sits in the corner of the room that is 'my' corner

*do you have your own part of a room? a spot where you sit and where your own things gather?*

in my corner at this time i have my phone, my moleskine, a bowl which holds my glasses case and a pen sitting alongside my lamp.
on the pine chest that sits in front of the floor to ceiling window are my green man oracle, a bill bryson book and on a footstool in front of this sits my two bags of crochet~my corner of our room

i also lit the three candles on my mantle/alter and drew the curtains against the darkening chill.

i continued to read and think.

the words i read and the thoughts and pondering that the words stirred in me has helped a page turn in my life.

i have realised there is no point in fighting the things that i cannot change~like my illness's~yes i can help them by taking my medication (as much as i hate too in this i have no option) but ultimately i have to live with them, day to day.
but i realised that i cannot let the negativity that they, and other things, bring out in me, to rule my life (thank you juilana for making me think of this!)

today i feel good~i am keeping all the symptoms of my illnesses firmly in the background of my mind~i cannot wipe them out with medication nor totally ignore them~but i wont let them get the better of me, wont let it all overwhelm me and distract me from better things.

~for i have so many good things in my life~
i have a soul partner who loves, supports me and accepts me as i am
i can afford to pay the bills each month
i have a roof over my head...and a garden
i live in a very special,ancient forest where branches of my ancestor tree grow back hundreds and hundreds of years

there is much more to add to this list, but you get the idea.

i feel more peaceful today, settled and even better, by fighting the negativity and embracing the positivity, i feel i have rediscovered the track i have been following through the woods