~too bogged down to blog!~



i am becoming increasingly aware of my lack of blogging of late~i feel i have been so bogged down with everything right now.

anything i do during the day that does not concern my studies have become a luxury
...i cannot remember the last time i picked up a book that did not concern ancient greece or the late roman republic and have a nice read.

...or the last time i woke up and did not have to think about getting some reading done, notes written, essay drafted

right now i am sitting here with part of my mind thinking over the conclusion to my essay and have i completed my bibliography ready to submit it by midday?

oh my word

its as if a large part of me has gone into hibernation, for no other reason than it is of no use right now~i have nothing else but my studies engulfing me

for this part of my degree i have one final essay and an exam in june...but already i am thinking of next years course~what do i choose to do?

i have it in my head to choose one that starts next february or shall i go completely wild and have a year off and resume next october?

if i took off a year would i get bored?

what would i do with myself?

well for a start there is the quilt i keep promising myself to make

the garden to tend

books to read

paintings i want to create

places i want to visit

and of course there is little Sgurr~who is finally coming home with us next wednesday, two months to the day we had to let our beautiful cody travel to the summerlands.
after we heard the news of the date late last night i went out into the garden, as i do every night, as i did every night with cody, for one last look at the sky and a sniff of the air...sure that cody still joins me in this ritual.

as i stepped out it was freezing cold and the sky as clear as it possibly could be and i caught the briefest flash of a shooting star in the west.



i found it comforting~it felt that it was the final sign i needed that this new path we are following with a new little life, is the right path.