~singing but what the heck!~

oh my

i just knew the elation would not last...

i spoke with the OU today and it appears the whole funding system is being changed by our wonderful government...if you could discern words said through clenched teeth at this point you would know i am doing so!

i have been told that if i stay with my studies from now until i obtain my degree then my funding would remain as it is now...that is to say highly manageable.

however if i take a year or two out i would have to come under the new funding system which means i would have to find a lot of money to continue my studies.
i admit when i found this out i was close to tears and my head is spinning.

i have been out for a walk with swampy and flynt and my it is cold out there today but it cleared my head and helped me think.

i was thinking about why i started my studies in the first place...
because i had never gone to university and felt i had 'missed out', i had the idea of future job prospects linked to my love of history, that having a degree would change things (what things? i do not know)

i was thinking about where i am now and the realities...
given my problems with m.e and fibro would i ever really be able to do what i want with my degree? am i thinking about having a degree in all the wrong way...do i think having one would make me better? would it really improve my life? why do i think having a degree would define me any differently?

things change and maybe i am hanging onto my OU because i am scared of change?

having a degree or not would not change who i am
or what i do
or what i love