it seems like forever since i last wrote here, but it surprised me when i realised it was only a matter of days~i promise i will catch up with all you lovely bloggers very soon!
its been one of those weeks~it started great and then dissolved into one of upset and bad feelings~family problems of course, what else can produce such feelings?!
i needed some direction with this and so i worked with my tree oracle and blackberry came to hand~an odd one i thought and it took some work to understand it but finally realised that i was being told to take a step back, to step away from the situation in order to protect myself, that i had to let the situation as it was to develop and resolve itself without me.
it certainly makes sense for several times this past week i have said to myself and to others that i just don't have the spare energy to deal with the anger of others. i have too much to deal with myself~with my studies and up and coming hospital appointments~and i need to keep my energy for myself right now.
is that a selfish thing to be doing i wonder?
should i be more supportive?
the trouble is i feel that the situation i have been put in is as piggy in the middle~i hear things form both sides and try to support both sides but now don't want to hear anything for i don't know who or what to believe and i just feel its draining me.
i also don't think its going to be something that will go away without a fight, in fact i don't think it will ever go away, its just too deep.
i was up early this morning~it is my moontime and so by 4am i really needed a hot water bottle for my back and some pain killers and cody had the fidgets. he had been eating grass yesterday and so i thought it would be a good idea to let him into the back garden.
i went out with him and as is my way i turned up to the sky and was given a wonderful clear, star filled sky~a blanket of silver lights draped above my head...
it really did take my breath away and gave me the first real sense of peace this week.
right now it is still dark beyond my window~the sky is just turning a deep blue, but a blackbird is in fine tune in the tree outside.